挺难想象因为学校周围贫乏的物质条件我有多久没过这样的下午了，总是把自己困在图书馆地下二层的小隔间just like what I said to my therapist- some part of myself is capitalized and mechanized, which keeps my survival; 一些背后没有指向性的作为一个形容词存在的瞬间and ofc, also with a materialized basis

It’s said that everyone has the singles virus in our body, who is usually sleeping there. Once you are very tired or exhausted in some certain circumstances, your immunity is getting lower, it becomes much easier for the virus to be activated. As soon as it wakes up, it’s time for you to be ill.

Better Man (Taylor's Version)
I know I'm probably better off all alone
Than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute
And it was always on your terms
I waited on every careless word
Hoping it might turn sweet again
Like it was in the beginning
But your jealousy oh I can hear it now
Talking down to me like I'd always be around
Push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun
Oh you never thought I'd run