A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later..

The nun agreed…

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq.”

The nun said, “I understand completely.”

The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Iraq either...

“Well, I
had to have that, didn’t I?)
Bella Pasta (supper with Caitlin)
Oddbins (bottle of wine—essential)
Esso (petrol doesn’t count)
Quaglinos (expensive—but it was a one-off)
Pret à Manger (that time I ran out of cash)
Oddbins (bottle of wine—essential)
Rugs to Riches (what? Oh yes. Stupid rug.)
La Senza (sexy underwear for date with James)
Agent Provocateur (even sexier underwear for date with James. Like I needed it.)
Body Shop (that skin brusher thing which I must use)
Next (fairly boring white shirt”

Excerpt From
Confessions of a shopaholic
Sophie Kinsella
This material may be protected by copyright.

“军队抓了我们一个村干部，把他带到了森林里。第二天早上，我们分成小队去找他，我跟我两个朋友一起去了。找着找着，突然听到其中一人的尖叫声。我跑过去看他发现了什么，结果正是我们要找的那个人，但他的脖子已经被砍断了。”

“The military arrested a leader of our village and took him out into the forest. The next morning, we broke into small groups and everyone went searching for him. I went with two of my friends. We were searching in the forest when I heard one of them scream. I ran over to see what he found. It was the man we were looking for, but his neck had been cut.”