2023-09-19 写于凌晨

旧疾总是出其不意隐隐作痛
我总想爱人 爱到忘记自己
或许从来不是不在乎
是自欺欺人告诉自己im fine

So I just take a pill
爱到麻木 没有期待
是谁告诫我要先爱自己？
我学着尊重自己接纳自己包容自己
却还是看不破

怪我自己欲念深重 执迷不悟
认真反省才发现童年时期对归属感和被确定自己很重要的需求从来没有得到真正的满足
未曾被满足的总是蠢蠢欲动

没有谁折磨我 是自己折磨自己
也并不会有谁来填补我的空缺
beautiful things are beautifully broken
我们的缺失构成了独特的自己
是一种印记 但有时候也像一种诅咒

懒得看破 也很难真正看清
世间万物真真假假皆为幻象和过眼云烟
对自己真诚 忠于内心真实的过好每一刻
对我才是最重要的

心无挂碍 无挂碍故 无有恐怖
我不曾真正拥有过什么
所以我也不会真正失去什么

爸爸妈妈说做好自己就行
嗯 做好自己就好啦[打call][打call][打call]

When i look at Oppa, i feel lots of energy, courage, and love.❤☺
I'm falling in love with Oppa since the first time i see Oppa. ❤❤❤❤
It is the best experience in my life to spend time with you, my husband.❤❤❤
I am enjoying the journey a lot. ❤❤❤
I wish to be with Oppa for the rest of my life ❤❤❤❤
My life is so colorful because of Oppa ❤❤

i don't need to see heaven, cuz i already have heaven in my life ❤❤
I don’t know if i’m dead or alive,
I just know that i’m in love ❤❤
Oppa, I love you everywhere right side up to the sky, ❤❤☁️ upside down and around the entire world. ☺
Oppa is the bright spot in my entire life.❤❤
Whenever i have an evening of darkness, you glow through the clouds. ☀️
When i’m with Oppa, i’m in home❤❤❤❤