I don’t know how to explain what happened to me these days. I had a big quarrel with Lucas and we fighted and I scratched him on the chin. We both said many heartbreaking words to each other, and both of us were very disappointed. I moved out of his apartment. To be honest, I had a been upset for quite a long time because of my passive situation. Every time I cannot take the lead of myself, I’ll be down. I was even sadder when he was helping me package up hastily. It was like, he has been looking forward to my left for long time. Also, I was feeling myself abandoned as an object. This feeling has been haunting my whole life repeatedly, over and over again. Corinne said probably it was because I experienced some mental trauma in my childhood. I don’t know, but I do know this is not the first time and won’t be the last time of feeling it.
I’ve been reflecting on myself frequently these days, mostly about the relationship between me and Lucas, and also about Corinne and Max. I blamed myself for believe in Lucas’s over commitment. I regrettd for being so close to Max. I looked down upon myself for overreliance on others. I hated myself for wanting so much I resented my unrealistic ambition.
I was thankful for Lucas’s gentleness, Corinne's care, and my parents' support. Now, I need to reconsider my life path. How can I balance all these things? How can I continue speaking English? How can I find a less stressful and quieter social environment? How can I be an excellent teacher? How can I get a boyfriend who is tall and strong and always the hero for me? At the meantime, how can I take my parents’ feelings into consideration?
No matter how, the truth is, being aware of who we are, where we are from, and where we should go is always a lifelong task.
I still desire a low-key and safe relationship without overcommitment without overreliance, and without the need to show it off to others. I’ll continue finding it.

#张杰[超话]# Hello, I am so so excited I will be attending all three shows in Hangzhou. I have been lucky enough to attend 16 of Jason‘s concerts in 6 different countries over the years. But Jason has done 100 concerts. Amazing how many fans he has thrilled over the years. I have enjoyed seeing Jason get better and better and try new things all the time always surprising his fans. Hope to see you all in Hangzhou. In the pictures below is my first concert I ever saw of Jason in The Dolby theater in Los Angeles, California, and then the picture of him on the stage I took in the front row which was just a couple inches from the stage.
A lot of great memories seen the concerts and meeting Jason‘s amazing fans. Also grandma Peng will be with us all at the concert in spirit. We miss you.

[握手]2024.4.26/00：08【李巧玲】小巧玲珑/心旷神怡：缥缈【和平与爱love】为了给孩子女儿【宝宝李芯怡】一个完整幸福美满‍‍家庭决定不离婚了不找他广州民政局麻烦了不去办理离婚手续了【sorry对不起广州给你们制造了不必要的麻烦事.都是我这麻烦人李巧玲不对】诚挚给湖南衡阳市与广州市人民道歉sorry 对不起【只求和平love】五湖四海皆朋友兄弟都是一家人‍‍我们都一样不分对错好坏高低贵贱之分一视同仁对任何人都没有成见love 海阔天空之城【[调皮]不争不抢也不想争名夺利更不想争风吃醋啦【@醋什么好吃？不想吃哈+踏踏实实做事.公平和平与爱做人loveyour】海阔天空吧】……
[握手] [Li Qiaoling] small and exquisite / relaxed and happy: misty [peace and love] in order to give the child daughter [baby Li Xinyi] a complete happiness ‍‍ The family decided not to divorce him Guangzhou Civil Affairs Bureau trouble not to apply for divorce formalities [sorry Guangzhou to create unnecessary trouble for you. It is my trouble Li Qiaoling wrong] sincere apology to the people of Hengyang City, Hunan Province and Guangzhou City. Friends and brothers everywhere It's all family. ‍‍ I have no distinction between right and wrong, good and bad, high and low, no prejudice against anyone. [调皮] Don't fight, don't want to fight for fame and fortune, and don't wanna be jealous [@ vinegar] What's good? Do not want to eat ha + down-to-earth work. Fair peace and love life loveyour] as boundless as the sea and sky bar]...... https://t.cn/z8AcJKE