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169. Don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t let yesterday use up too much of today. 别留念昨天了,把握好今天吧。(Will Rogers) 170. If you are not brave enough, no one will back you up. 你不勇敢,没人替你坚强。171. If you don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t build your dream, someone will hire you to build theirs. 如果你没有梦想,那么你只能为别人的梦想打工。172. Beauty is all around, if you just open your heart to see. 只要你给自己机会,你会发现你的世界可以很美丽。173. The difference in winning and losing is most often...not quitting. 赢与输的差别通常是--不放弃。(华特·迪士尼) 174. I am ordinary yet unique. 我很平凡,但我独一无二。175. I like people who make me laugh in spite of myself. 我喜欢那些让我笑起来的人,就算是我不想笑的时候。176. Image a new story for your life and start living it. 为你的生命想一个全新剧本,并去倾情出演吧!177. I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'d rather be a happy fool than a sad sage. 做个悲伤的智者,不如做个开心的傻子。178. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. 未来属于那些相信梦想之美的人。(埃莉诺·罗斯福) 179. Even if you get no applause, you should accept a curtain call gracefully and appreciate your own efforts. 即使没有人为你鼓掌,也要优雅的谢幕,感谢自己的认真付出。180. Don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t let dream just be your dream. 别让梦想只停留在梦里。181. A day without laughter is a day wasted. 没有笑声的一天是浪费了的一天。(卓别林) 182. Travel and see the world; afterwards, you will be able to put your concerns in perspective. 去旅行吧,见的世面多了,你会发现原来在意的那些结根本算不了什么。183. The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition. 任何事情成功关键都是熟能生巧。《生活大爆炸》 184. You can be happy no matter what. 开心一点吧,管它会怎样。185. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. 今天的好计划胜过明天的完美计划。186. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m possible\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'! 一切皆有可能!“不可能”的意思是:“不,可能。”(奥黛丽·赫本) 187. Life isn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t fair, but no matter your circumstances, you have to give it your all. 生活是不公平的,不管你的境遇如何,你只能全力以赴。188. No matter how hard it is, just keep going because you only fail when you give up. 无论多么艰难,都要继续前进,因为只有你放弃的那一刻,你才输了。    When Paul Jobs was mustered out of the Coast Guard after World War II, he made a wager with his crewmates. They had arrived in San Francisco, where their ship was decommissioned, and Paul bet that he would find himself a wife within two weeks. He was a taut, tattooed engine mechanic, six feet tall, with a passing resemblance to James Dean. But it wasn’t his looks that got him a date with Clara Hagopian, a sweet-humored daughter of Armenian immigrants. It was the fact that he and his friends had a car, unlike the group she had originally planned to go out with that evening. Ten days later, in March 1946, Paul got engaged to Clara and won his wager. It would turn out to be a happy marriage, one that lasted until death parted them more than forty years later. Paul Reinhold Jobs had been raised on a dairy farm in Germantown, Wisconsin. Even though his father was an alcoholic and sometimes abusive, Paul ended up with a gentle and calm disposition under his leathery exterior. After dropping out of high school, he wandered through the Midwest picking up work as a mechanic until, at age nineteen, he joined the Coast Guard, even though he didn’t know how to swim. He was deployed on the USS General M. C. Meigs and spent much of the war ferrying troops to Italy for General Patton. His talent as a machinist and fireman earned him commendations, but he occasionally found himself in minor trouble and never rose above the rank of seaman. Clara was born in New Jersey, where her parents had landed after fleeing the Turks in Armenia, and they moved to the Mission District of San Francisco when she was a child. She had a secret that she rarely mentioned to anyone: She had been married before, but her husband had been killed in the war. So when she met Paul Jobs on that first date, she was primed to start a new life. Clara, however, loved San Francisco, and in 1952 she convinced her husband to move back there. They got an apartment in the Sunset District facing the Pacific, just south of Golden Gate Park, and he took a job working for a finance company as a “repo man,” picking the locks of cars whose owners hadn’t paid their loans and repossessing them. He also bought, repaired, and sold some of the cars, making a decent enough living in the process. There was, however, something missing in their lives. They wanted children, but Clara had suffered an ectopic pregnancy, in which the fertilized egg was implanted in a fallopian tube rather than the uterus, and she had been unable to have any. So 颗普通的行星,但它在许多方面都是独一无二的。比如,它是太阳系中唯一一颗面积大部分被水覆盖的行星,也是目前所知唯一一颗有生命存在的 Arthur Schieble died in August 1955, after the adoption was finalized. Just after Christmas that year, Joanne and Abdulfattah were married in St. Philip the Apostle Catholic Church in Green Bay. He got his PhD in international politics the next year, and then they had another child, a girl named Mona. After she and Jandali divorced in 1962, Joanne embarked on a dreamy and peripatetic life that her daughter, who grew up to become the acclaimed novelist Mona Simpson, would capture in her book Anywhere but Here. Because Steve’s adoption had been closed, it would be twenty years before they would all find each other. Steve Jobs knew from an early age that he was adopted. “My parents were very open with me about that,” he recalled. He had a vivid memory of sitting on the lawn of his house, when he was six or seven years old, telling the girl who lived across the street. “So does that mean your real parents didn’t want you?” the girl asked. “Lightning bolts went off in my head,” according to Jobs. “I remember running into the house, crying. And my parents said, ‘No, you have to understand.’ They were very serious and looked me straight in the eye. They said, ‘We specifically picked you out.’ Both of my parents said that and repeated it slowly for me. And they put an emphasis on every word in that sentence.” Abandoned. Chosen. Special. Those concepts became part of who Jobs was and how he regarded himself. His closest friends think that the knowledge that he was given up at birth left some scars. “I think his desire for complete control of whatever he makes derives directly from his personality and the fact that he was abandoned at birth,” said one longtime colleague, Del Yocam. “He wants to control his environment, and he sees the product as an extension of himself.” Greg Calhoun, who became close to Jobs right after college, saw another effect. “Steve talked to me a lot about being abandoned and the pain that caused,” he said. “It made him independent. He followed the beat of a different drummer, and that came from being in a different world than he was born into.” Later in life, when he was the same age his biological father had been when he abandoned him, Jobs would father and abandon a child of his own. (He eventually took responsibility for her.) Chrisann Brennan, the mother of that child, said that being put up for adoption left Jobs “full of broken glass,” and it helps to explain some of his behavior. “He who is abandoned is an abandoner,” she said. Andy Hertzfeld, who worked with Jobs at Apple in the early 1980s, is among the few who remained close to both Brennan and Jobs. “The key question about Steve is why he can’t tty good,” he said, “because he knew how to build anything. If we needed a cabinet, he would build it. When he built our fence, he gave me a hammer so I could work with him.” Fifty years later the fence still surrounds the back and side yards of the house in Mountain View. As Jobs showed it off to me, he caressed the stockade panels and recalled a lesson that his father implanted deeply in him. It was important, his father said, to craft the backs of cabinets and fences properly, even though they were hidden. “He loved doing things right. He even cared about the look of the parts you couldn’t see.” His father continued to refurbish and resell used cars, and he festooned the garage with pictures of his favorites. He would point out the detailing of the design to his son: the lines, the vents, the chrome, the trim of the seats. After work each day, he would change into his dungarees and retreat to the garage, often with Steve tagging along. “I figured I could get him nailed down with a little mechanical ability, but he really wasn’t interested in getting his hands dirty,” Paul later recalled. “He never really cared too much about m189. It requires hard work to give off an appearance of effortlessness. 你必须十分努力,才能看起来毫不费力。190. Life is like riding a bicycle.To keep your balance,you must keep moving. 人生就像骑单车,只有不断前进,才能保持平衡。(爱因斯坦) 191. Be thankful for what you have.You\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ll end up having more. 拥有一颗感恩的心,最终你会得到更多。192. Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. 美是一种内心的感觉,并反映在你的眼睛里。(索菲亚·罗兰) 193. Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows. 朋友的作用,就是让你快乐加倍,痛苦减半。194. When you long for something sincerely, the whole world will help you. 当你真心渴望某样东西时,整个宇宙都会来帮忙。echanical things.” “I wasn’t that into fixing cars,” Jobs admitted. “But I was eager to hang out with my dad.” Even as he was growing more aware that he had been adopted, he was becoming more attached to his father. One day when he was about eight, he discovered a photograph of his father from his time in the Coast Guard. “He’s in the engine room, and he’s got his shirt off and looks like James Dean. It was one of those Oh wow moments for a kid. Wow, oooh, my parents were actually once very young and really good-looking.” Through cars, his father gave Steve his first exposure to electronics. “My dad did not have a deep understanding of electronics, but he’d encountered it a lot in automobiles and other things he would fix. He showed me the rudiments of electronics, and I got very interested in that.” Even more interesting were the trips to scavenge for parts. “Every weekend, there’d be a junkyard trip. We’d be looking for a generator, a carburetor, all sorts of components.” He remembered watching his father negotiate at the counter. “He was a good bargainer, because he knew better than the guys at the counter what the parts should cost.” This helped fulfill the pledge his parents made when he was adopted. “My college fund came from my dad paying $50 for a Ford Falcon or some other beat-up car that didn’t run, working on it for a few weeks, and selling it for $250—and not telling the IRS.” The Jobses’ house and the others in their neighborhood were built by the real estate developer Joseph Eichler, whose company spawned more than eleven thousand homes in various California subdivisions between 1950 and 1974. Inspired by Frank Lloyd Wright’s vision of simple modern homes for the American “everyman,” Eichler built inexpensive houses that featured floor-to-ceiling glass walls, open floor plans, exposed post-and-beam construction, concrete slab floors, and lots of sliding glass doors. “Eichler did a great thing,” Jobs said on one of our walks around the neighborhood. “His houses were smart and cheap and good. They brought clean design and simple taste to lower-income people. They had awesome little features, like radiant heating in the floors. You put carpet on them, and we had nice toasty floors when we were kids.” Jobs said that his appreciation for Eichler homes instilled in him a passion for making nicely designed products for the mass market. “I love it when you can bring really great design and simple capability to something that doesn’t cost much,” he said as he pointed out the clean elegance of the houses. “It was the original vision for Apple. That’s what we tried to do with the first Mac. That’s what we did with the iPod.” Across the street from the Jobs family lived a man who had become successful as a real estate agent. “He wasn’t that bright,” Jobs recalled, “but he seemed to be making a fortune. So my dad thought, ‘I can do that.’ He worked so hard, I remember. He took these night classes, passed the license test, and got into real estate. Then the bottom fell out of the market.” As a result, the family found itself financially strapped for a year or so while Steve was in elementary school. His mother took a job as a bookkeeper for Varian Associates, a company that made scientific instruments, and they took out a second mortgage. One day his fourth-grade teacher asked him, “What is it you don’t understand about the universe?” Jobs replied, “I don’t understand why all of a sudden my dad is so broke.” He was proud that his father never adopted a servile attitude or slick style that may have made him a better salesman. “You had to suck up to people to sell real estate, and he wasn’t good at that and it wasn’t in his nature. I admired him for that.” Paul Jobs went back to being a mechanic. His father was calm and gentle, traits that his son later praised more than emulated. He was also resolute. Jobs described one exampl What made the neighborhood different from the thousands of other spindly-tree subdivisions across America was that even the ne’er-do-wells tended to be engineers. “When we moved here, thegh-tech and made living here very exciting.” In the wake of the defense industries there arose a booming economy based on technology. Its roots stretched back to 1938, when David Packard and his new wife moved into a house in Palo Alto that had a shed where his friend Bill Hewlett was soon ensconced. The house had a garage—an appendage that would prove both useful and iconic in the valley—in which they tinkered around until they had their first product, an audio oscillator. By the 1950s, Hewlett-Packard was a fast-growing company making technical instruments. Fortunately there was a place nearby for entrepreneurs who had outgrown their garages. In a move that would help transf The most important technology for the region’s growth was, of course, the semiconductor. William Shockley, who had been one of the inventors of the transistor at Bell Labs in New Jersey, moved out to Mountain View and, in 1956, started a company to build transistors using silicon rather than the more expensive germanium that was then commonly used. But Shockley became increasingly erratic and abandoned his silicon transistor project, which led eight of his engineers—most notably Robert Noyce and Gordon Moore—to break away to form Fairchild Semiconductor. That company grew to twelve thousand employees, but it fragmented in 1968, when Noyce lost a power struggle to become CEO. He took Gordon Moore and founded a company that they called Integrated Electronics Corporation, which they soon smartly abbreviated to Intel. Their third employee was Andrew Grove, who later would grow the company by shifting its focus from memory chips to microprocessors. Within a few years there would be more than fifty companies in the area making semiconductors. The exponential growth of this industry was correlated with the phenomenon famously discovered by Moore, who in 1965 drew a graph of the speed of integrated circuits, based on the number of transistors that could be placed on a chip, and showed that it doubled about every two years, a trajectory that could be expected to continue. This was reaffirmed in 1971, when Intel was able to etch a complete central processing unit onto one chip, the Intel 4004, tronic amplifier. “So I raced home, and I told my dad that he was wrong.” “No, it needs an amplifier,” his father assured him. When Steve protested otherwise, his father said he was crazy. “It can’t work without an amplifier. There’s some trick.” “I kept saying no to my dad, telling him he had to see it, and finally he actually walked down with me and saw it. And he said, ‘Well I’ll be a bat out of hell.’” Jobs recalled the incident vividly because it was his first realization that his father did not know everything. Then a more disconcerting discovery began to dawn on him: He was smarter than his parents. He had always admired his father’s competence and savvy. “He was not an educated man, but I had always thought he was pretty damn smart. He didn’t read much, but he could do a lot. Almost everything mechanical, he could figure it out.” Yet the carbon microphone incident, Jobs said, began a jarring process of realizing that he was in fact more clever and quick than his parents. “It was a very big moment that’s burned into my mind. When I realized that I was smarter than my parents, I felt tremendous shame for having thought that. I will never forget that moment.” This discovery, he later told friends, along with the fact that he was adopted, made him feel apart—detached and separate—from both his family and the world. Another layer of awareness occurred soon after. Not only did he discover that he was brighter than his parents, but he discovered that they knew this. Paul and Clara Jobs were loving parents, and they were willing to adapt their lives to suit a son who was very smart—and also willful. They would go to great lengths to accommodate him. And soon Steve discovered this fact as well. “Both my parents got me. They felt a lot of responsibility once they sensed that I was special. They found ways to keep feeding me stuff and putting me in better schools. They were willing to defer to my needs.” So he grew up not only with a sense of having once been abandoned, but also with a sense that he was special. In his own mind, that was more important in the formation of his personality. School Even before Jobs started elementary school, his mother had taught him how to read. This, however, led to some problems once he got to school. “I was kind of bored for the first few years

这是2021年的上海市南汇。


这里远离市区,但身处上海,也算是得天独厚。


成长在这个地方的小孩,大部分都会拥有光明的未来。


他们的青春年代,在外人看来,大概率是不会有多少烦心事的。


早早的接触到二三线城市的孩子看不到的一切,一出生就赢在了别人的起点。


快乐,充实,不愁吃穿,等着长大....


但就是在这么一个让人羡慕的环境,


一个14岁的小女孩,却在几天前突然跳楼自杀。





8月份的上海,夏天结束,秋天归来。

这个花季女孩,正是在这个美丽的季节纵身一跃,从家中坠落。

当时当刻,他的父母或许还在计划着,将来再给她报个什么辅导班。

但他们永远也等不到了。

孩子死了,留下了一封遗书,一些遗愿,还有3万块钱。

3万块是什么概念?

对她的父母来说,也就是上海厕所的一个平方。

但对女孩说,这可能是她整个少女时代,拥有的巨大财富。

我甚至可以想象到,她应该很多次在上学的路上雀跃思考着:

这钱是买棒棒糖?买电子产品?还是等我长大了,给我喜欢的男孩子买花?

但无论她曾经花了多少的精力思考这3万的未来,都不重要了。

她已经没有未来了。


因为再也受不了父母的指责,她选择留下这些没有完成的心愿,早早离开这个世界。与此同时, 还有一封惹哭了无数人的遗书。


也正是这封遗书,让我们心痛的窥探到了,这起自杀事件的背后,到底躲着一对什么样的父母。


这对父母,他们希望有一个能冲进年级前20的完美女儿。



但自己却从没想过去学习一套完美的教育方式。

而是用“不指望你”这些伤自尊的,甚至更肮脏的辱骂,去训斥孩子。


不仅语言辱骂,还动用迂腐的棍棒教育

皮带或电线抽打自己的孩子,从手背到手臂再到大腿,背上。

甚至用极具侮辱性的方式,让孩子就穿一个拖鞋,光身在屋外示众


这封遗书,有整整三页,在一个夜晚,传遍了全网。

避免未成年人自杀的维特效应,我们不公开所有内容。

但相信哪怕是从这些小小片段中,我们也可以感受到:

写下这些话的女孩,内心曾经遭遇过多少不可承受之重。
 
而让我惊讶的是,女孩才14岁就已经有3万压岁钱,也就是说——

不是一个贫困家庭指望孩子改变命运的故事,也不是父母没文化造成惨剧的故事,这是个小康家庭的故事。
 
这意味着,女孩面对的父母不是底线,可能只是平均线,甚至,已经超出了平均线。
 
我得以想象,在这个群居着14亿人的广阔田地里,还有多少14岁的孩子,正在由于各种各样的原因,像遗书中的女孩一样,被一群名为「为你好」的父母压迫着。

极其少量的他们被我们得知,而多数的他们,直接在笼中毁灭。

而这个「多数」,不胜枚举。

 


2017年,云南,昭通。

17岁的留守少年小宝,喝下一瓶农药后结束了自己生命。

死前,他留下一封遗书,里面写道:

爸爸,我死了,你就高兴了。

我的死是你造成的,与其他人无关。

你句句逼人,我没有办法,独有一死方休止。 

我死后你不要无理取闹,希望下辈子你我互不相识

 
2019 年,上海,卢浦大桥。
 
一个正在开车的母亲,和他17岁的儿子发生争吵。
 
两人吵到情绪最激动的时候,母亲直接在高架停车。
 
男生猛地推开车门,跳下大桥,母亲坐在地上,锤地痛哭。


2020年,武汉,教室门口。
 
一个初三的男生因为在教室玩扑克,被母亲在走廊疯训斥。
 
当着同学的面,母亲对他狂扇耳光,锁喉,戳脑袋,说狠话...全程除了一个女老师,没有任何人阻拦。


母亲最后头也不回的走了,男孩站在走廊,以被惩罚的姿势足足愣了3分钟。

直到忽然低下头,转身,跳下教学楼,当场死亡。


时间穿过这座教室,穿过卢浦大桥,穿过那瓶被喝下的农药,穿过女孩的遗书,我看到了那么多相似又重叠的场景。
 
我看到无数懂事的孩子们,瞪着双眼含着眼泪,希望能获得父母的尊重。

但还是话在嘴边,一声不敢吭

我看到了无数的父母,用凌厉的怒吼践踏子女自尊,甚至将外气撒在子女头上。

但对一切造成的伤害,视为天经地义。
 
2020年《健康报》的调查显示:
24.39%的上海小学生,曾有过自杀想法。
认真考虑自杀的,占到15.23%
计划过自杀的,占到5.85%
并且有1.71%的中小学生自杀未遂。
 
当一个青少年选择自杀,原生家庭,难逃其咎。
 
仔细看上海这个小女孩的遗书里,我们其实不难分析出:

女孩选择自杀,不仅因为已经承受不了这巨大的压力,也因为她对父母不服。

她不服,为什么因为你是长辈,就能指着鼻子骂一个正在努力的人?


她要用死亡,掀起父母的懊恼和重视。





孩子们的思维可能很单纯:

我活着就永远得顺从你,那好啊,我要用死亡,赢你一次。

自杀,就像是一种幼稚可怜又无奈的复仇。

假如我消失了,爸爸妈妈,你们总该会后悔了吧。

如果人生重来,爸爸妈妈,你们总共会更理解我一点了吧。

用眼泪表达抗拒没有回应,便用自杀发出尖叫。

他们就像割肉还父的哪吒,指望恰逢其时的死亡,换父母一个道歉。
 
但孩子们,显然还是太天真了。
 
 


 
我们这一代人的大多数父母,是学不会向孩子道歉的。

这样的事情一年又一年的发生,家长见了依然只是轻飘飘丢下一句:

现在的小孩被宠坏了,太脆弱了。

是啊,少年时代的情绪确实形同猛兽。

但怕死,是生物的本能。

没有人会脆弱到因为几句话就去自杀,哪怕他们只是孩子。

当一个人决定走向死亡,显然是因为——TA兜不住了。
 
总有人说,孩子们不懂事,不知道爸妈这是爱他们。
 
真可笑啊,这是爱????????
 
大部分父母所谓的爱,是要一个孩子正确,听话,并服从。
 
这根本不是爱,这是变态,如果非要说是爱,那就是变态的爱。
 

中国目前青少年的面临的自杀困境,不比女权问题轻松。
 
只是互联网掌权者,没有青少年。
 
父母或即将成为父母的一群人,到处鼓吹青少年脆弱论
 
而即将走向自杀的青少年们,只能在我们看不见的地方沉默。
 
这些被锁在堆满学习资料的房间里的青少年们,严重缺失话语权。


上面几起青少年自杀的导火线时刻,其实发生过在无数个家庭里。

我曾经看见过亲戚家的孩子被父母打的鼻子冒血,孩子哇哇大哭,父母却打的更厉害。

父母说:我受不了看你哭的样子了!懦弱!无能!

孩子听到这话,想哭又不敢哭,声音从发泄变成哽咽,又恨又胆怯

旁边的大人呢?一边拉父母,却又一边劝孩子:别哭了,爸妈是为你好。

野蛮的大人,坚信自己想的就是对的。

他们显然没有意识到,暴力是比贪玩更恐怖的人类恶习。

女孩遗书中最后写到:反省这件事,就留给岁月好。


但我担心,岁月根本教不会大人反省,而是日趋严重的愚昧。

一个没有人站出来发声的环境,哪来的反省?
 
家长说孩子不守孝道,社会说孩子你太脆弱,

媒体呢?抱歉,孩子没有价值,还是保护大人来的划算。
 
指望岁月?岁月能干些什么啊???
 
岁月能让这些小小的孩子,突然将童年的黑暗记忆自我消化吗?
 
岁月能让这些紧握发声口的父母,突然集体醒悟,宣扬子女平等吗?
 
岁月能让这个社会突然明白,无条件恪守孝道的世界,其实是种愚昧吗?
 
这些青少年自杀案之所以相继发生,靠的不是一对父母,是成千上万父母的合作,和成千上万人大人的沉默。

怎么样才让这一切变的好起来?

要指望偏执的父母们,彻底放下上位者的骄傲。

要指望善良的大人们,不厌其烦去发出他们的声音。
 
但从来不应该是像遗书中天真的女孩一样,指望将一切反省,都留给岁月。

精彩文章推荐:点击性侵未成年少女的恶魔终于被捕:这一次,绝不能坐视不管…...


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