I didn’t feel like telling people what happened because for what it’s worth it’s ended. I found myself torn between two states: I wished it was for good and I wished it wasn’t. I told myself I can’t be hurt the third time cuz I can’t trust the same person the third time but fuck I did. So here I am, back to day 1. Oh how am I going to heal this time? Does time heal? Probably. But I hope I don’t, cuz this pain has imprinted on me. This ugly, suffocating pain. I did cry. I cried in a shopping mall full with innocent people and I blamed every single one of them for watching. Then I stopped. Yes I’ll admit it, I’m a cry baby. But it’s better than being emotionless or incapable of emotions. I feel therefore I am.

我也不知道自己现在是什么状态 迷瞪瞪的清醒着
四五点就醒了
现在在床上听Taylor的laybrinth
我脑袋里一直回想昨天晚上等红灯的时候
他车上刚好放到那三句
Oh oh, I am falling in love
Oh no, I am falling in love again
Oh, I am falling in love
好像是有预谋的的巧合 当时所有的心跳 所有的呼吸 我的眼睛 我的耳朵鼻子我身上所有的感官都是为这一瞬间而生的 车上安静得要命
这个时候，我敏锐的察觉他偏头看了我这边一下，仅仅两秒钟而已，我没有对上他的视线而是看向指示屏，轻轻用耳语念出了“laybrinth”
我发现我好像在那一瞬间，爱上他了，可能可能，我不确定那是什么感觉
这个片段在我脑海碾转了很多次很多次
但是我不能这样，见一个爱一个

Oh my god, I spend a lot of time surfing in the internet. No, it's time to go to bed, but I am not

Ready. I don't brush my teeth. I don't clear up my bed. I am tired for climbing a mountain in the daytime. But I have had a rest for almost three hours.

I should plan all the things.
I need to sleep early and get up early.
I need to live a healthy lifestyle.
So it's time to brush my teeth and clean up my bed.
Good evening.